A New Addition to Our Family

Jackson

Born Dec 16, 2008

currently weighs in at 4.2#

The first night went pretty good. He slept on Alexis' chest and then when Bryan put him in his kennel he cried and cried and cried! So......he slept the rest of the night in my bed, next to me with his little nose in my neck.

I think I'm in love...

A Peek Inside My Sick Brain

Since it's too cold for yard sales, I have found myself wandering into the DI in search of a good bargain to give me that ridiculous euphoric feeling that a good ole bargain gives me.

I have to admit, I am now in love with DI! It's so clean and organized and best of all, you can find some real treasures! I have included some of my favorite examples for your viewing pleasure! (You're welcome!)

Fisher Price Animal Sounds train. Both the original set and the additional set seen below.

Both are clean and in excellent working order.

Suggested Retail Price: $39.99 for the train and $24.99 for the other set

Awesome DI price for both sets: $10.00

Ahhhh....The Strawberry Shortcake House!! I was so excited to see this little reflection of my childhood carelessly abandoned and lonely on the shelf awaiting my adoption!

This house came with accessories and 3 Strawberry Shortcake dolls! I looked all over the internet and couldn't find a price listed, which just goes to show that it is indeed priceless.

Awesome DI price: $8.00!

Connie's childhood nostalgia: priceless!

And finally, Brooklyn's favorite, the talking, singing, moving Disney Princess lamp.

Amazon.com ridiculous price: $45.00

Awesome DI price: $8.00

The look on my little princess's face upon receiving said lamp: priceless!!

Apple

Logan: Mom I think I can spell apple!

Me: Cool! Let's hear it.

Logan: A...P....L...L!

Me: Almost buddy, good job!

Logan got a Leapfrog Didj for Christmas and he loves playing it. Little does he know it is teaching him how to spell and do addition while he plays! It is such a good feeling when your kids reach these points in their education and they are excited about it. Yay for Logan and Yay for Leapfrog!! =D

Update

Well today is a better day. I hadn't even cried, and then JaNae called. Gee thanks, JaNae! I just really miss him. It was hard to come home last night and not have him here to greet us. I am thankful it snowed tho because I could see his little paths he had wore in the grass and that made me sad too. Brooklyn is missing him. Beast slept with her every night, so now she is sleeping with me. I think she was used to having someone close to her. Alexis had another bad night. She is staying the night at grandma's house tonight so hopefully that will help to take her mind off of it. Fiona (our cat) seems to be having a difficult time too. Her and Beast were buds!! She was acting very strange yesterday and today. Usually she just wants you to open the door for her and make sure her dish is full and other than that she wants to be on her own. Last night she was crawling behind furniture and on furniture looking all over the place. I think she is looking for her buddy.

I know time will heal, and for now we are getting thru it. We just miss the little shit!

Wanna know what makes a grieving mom feel better?

....Hearing her 8 month old say "Mama".

=D

All of my kids said "Dada" first, so now it's my turn! Mady is now 8 months old and has started crawling, cut her first tooth, and is saying "Mama". Something about hearing that word come out of her mouth makes it easier to get up in the middle of the night with her, and do it with a smile even!

Oh boy

Alright, I don't know exactly why I am doing this, but I feel compelled to write. I imagine this is why people get up and bear their testimonies at church, because they feel like they need to. I have felt that before, but have never acted on it. This time...oh well, here goes.
I have to expand on the previous post about Beast. I tried to go comatose last night to forget all but the Xanax and 2 Tylenol PM just didn't take the visual out of my head. Let's hope this will be therapeutic for me because I am NOT a pretty crier and I can't cry forever.
Yesterday I went to pick Alexis up from school and I was, as usual, running late. Beast wanted to go with us but I had planned on going grocery shopping afterwards so I told him to go and lay on the porch. He headed for the house. I got in the car (this is where I start to cry again) and I felt the car run over something. I drove a little further and saw my Beaster lying in the road. (insert sobbing) I ran back to him but it was too late. He didn't suffer but oh my God what had I just done?!?!?! I immediately called Bryan and just kept saying over and over "I ran him over, get home, I ran him over." Bryan was freaking out because he thought I had run over Logan. I sat on the curb and my neighbor drove up and asked if I was OK. I just pointed to my little Beast, and asked if she could go get Alexis from school. Bryan hurried home and took care of Beast before Alexis could see it. I, of course, sat in my car and had a panic attack. Poor Alexis came home from school and Bryan told her Beast died. She sobbed. He didn't want me to tell her how it had happened, but I had to. I told her. I was so, so, so sorry. She reassured me that it wasn't my fault, but I still felt so incredibly horrible.

That little shit came out of nowhere! Nowhere! I never saw him. I feel so awful. I just keep seeing it all over and over in my head. I am a wreck. Alexis had a difficult time sleeping last night, because Beast usually cuddled with them at night so it really hit her then. My sweet little Brookie doesn't know what happened but she misses him. They slept together every night. She feels bad for me, because she keeps offering me a binki. Logan never cried even though he witnessed the whole thing. He tried to guess who had cried more, me or Alexis. But last night he made me cry again when he told Bryan " I hope Jesus takes good care of Beast, because I love him and I miss him."
I know that we are going to get thru this. I know that I will stop crying at some point. I just can't seem to shake it right now. Everyone loved Beast. Everyone. What was not to love? He was a little shit, but he was a sweetheart and all he wanted was to be loved. I gave away our other dog a few months ago....and now this...could I be a more horrible mom? I just don't think I'm cut out to be an animal owner. I am barely cut out to be a mother! Sorry this is the worst post ever, but I am hoping I can find some closure soon, before my eyes get too puffy to see out of!

RIP

Beast

2002-2009

Even though his nickname was shithead, he was such a sweet little guy. Stubborn and a little naughty but all he wanted was to cuddle with someone. I am so sorry, Beaster!! I am so sorry. We will all miss you.

My Junior

UT OH!!! I think I may have a bit too much influence on my children, and apparently not all for the good...

An overdue hair cut!

Before....

During....

After....

I really wanted him to keep it long, but he insisted on being able to spike it up.

So, of course, I lost and his beautiful long locks are now on the floor and he has spiked hair.

At least he can see again. What a handsome little goofball!

Bath Time...

...Sink style!

Lexy's Birthday Party

We celebrated Lexy's birthday party at Hand's On this year.

She wasn't excited or anything.
Logan painted a dinosaur

grandma watched Mady while Bryan painted his dinosaur

Brooklyn really liked painting her puppy. He had sooo many coats of paint!

Bryan's dino

My mug
(everything will be shiny and pretty once it's fired)

Mady loved the birthday cake grandma made

Apparently it's easier to paint at eye level. Right, Reagan?

Blowing out the candles

REALLY?!?!

OK, I know that although I work with some excellent nurses, some are just plain stupid! This morning at work, I was filling our medicine dispensing machine in the ER and one of the obviously stupid nurses says "When are you gunna have that baby?"

I go on about my work because OBVIOUSLY she couldn't mean me. Then again "When are you gunna have that baby?"
I turn around. "Are you talking to me?"
dumb nurse: "yeah, did you have your baby?"
me: "Um, yeah. Eight months ago!"
me: thinking to my self....DUMBASS!
dumb nurse: "Oh, I couldn't tell from behind."
And then the *insert really bad name here* goes on about her business!!

REALLY?!?! REALLY?!?! I mean, I know I have put on some weight since Mady was born, but REALLY?! This idiot (A) never even said sorry and (B) has worked with me almost every night before and AFTER I had the baby! Freakin tard!

8 is Great!!

Happy 8th birthday to my sweet Alexis!!!

Today my baby turns 8 years old. Man, I'm getting old.

Alexis has been such a blessing to our family. She is so responsible and such a big helper. When she is not making her little brother scream, she is helping him or her little sisters out. I know I can always count on her to help me with whatever needs done. She is a sweet, kind-hearted little girl. She is an excellent student and is in the accelerated reader program at school and way ahead of their class in math. She loves to go to church and she is getting baptised on Jan 31st. She always has a smile on her face and has such a contagious laugh. I love you, Lexy June! Have a great birthday!!

This was our first, crappy digital camera. But still a cute little Lexy!
Alexis and Daddy. I love this picture!

her cute pose, she loves to do this for pictures.

her hair used to be so long!!!!

3 years old

hahaha...I love the expression! Her Easter dress her great-grandma made her.

First day of preschool

Kindergarten pumpkin patch trip

Holding her new baby sister